Don't forget to leave a bowl of porridge out tonight for your local tomte: "The conventional wisdom surrounding the presentation of cookies to Santa is that if an offering is forgotten, Santa might leave a lump of coal in a child’s stocking instead of a Rainbow Loom or whatever. Fail to deliver tomte’s porridge and he’ll murder you."
Sweden’s Answer to Santa Claus Is a Murderous Gnome
When I was a kid, I woke up early every Dec. 13 to fulfill my ancestral duties: I stuck a bunch of C-batteries into a light-up plastic wreath, balanced...
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